


Almost Human

by JuliaBaggins



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF
Genre: -Ish, Alternate Universe - Blade Runner Fusion, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Idk how to tag for this tbh, M/M, like kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 23:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16670239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: Blade Runner AU, but you don't really need to have seen the movies to read this. It's a rather dark future, in which humans are existing side by side with replicants, and one of the latter might discover that emotions aren't something exclusively human. And that no matter how hard they tried, total obedience wasn't something that they mastered to programm into his mind.





	1. I'm almost human

**Author's Note:**

> So.. yeah. This happened. Thanks to me laying in bed listening to the soundtrack of Blade Runner 2049. Let's see where it goes :D

ER-2004 looked out of the window, down at the city below him, and blinked. Sometimes he wondered why he had been created like this, to be able to do such things as _blink_ , even though they served no greater purpose, made no sense at all, not for someone who had been created instead of born, who was existing instead of _living_. Maybe it was true, that it would make humans uncomfortable to look into his eyes to find them unblinking, to find them empty; maybe they wouldn't have liked to get their fleeting illusion of him being one of their own destroyed. 

Just like the blood in his body, that he wouldn't necessarily have needed; he was sure they would have been able to come up with a simpler solution, one that was more elegant, and yet, they relied on how they worked themselves, wanted him to be as close to their own way of functioning as possible. And yet so far away. He bled when he cut his finger, preparing food that he had been created to crave, and yet the social programmes helping people who could not afford their food didn't apply to him; his skin bruised in more colours than the always-grey sky had to offer when he was hit, just like a child's would, he even felt the sensations, the _pain_ , and yet punching him wasn't seen as a crime. At least not the way it would be seen would it be committed against a human - for him, it was more as if he was someone's car that got a scratch from another person's inattentiveness; property whose value could be settled in clear numbers, something that could be repaired instead of healed, fixed with no need to add even a hint of love to the process.

 _Love_ , what an interesting concept that seemed to be. ER-2004 still glanced at the skyscrapers, the neon advertisements, the everlasting rain through the window; witnessed the crowds in the streets moving around as if they were following some higher plan, as if they were programmed to go in this or that direction, humans as well as replicants, and he wondered if anywhere in the city, there might be one of them who knew what love was. If it was something you could find out, could learn, at least as a human, or if it was a secret lost forever - a distant memory that couldn't exist on its own, not without long gone days in which there still had been sunshine, wind in what they had called _trees_ , carefreeness between humans and no need to create replicants. 

He wondered if the world had been a better one back then, when love had existed instead of those of his own kind, and if there was a connection between those two factors. If maybe, when people had started to create replicants, they had realized that love was something so deeply human that they couldn't imprint it into them, or maybe they hadn't even tried, had wanted to keep it to themselves, only to realize too late that by filling the world with beings that were incapable of love, they slowly forgot how to love themselves. Or maybe it was not about the replicants per se, but about the world that had created the need for them - maybe love had just died together with the plants, the animals, the _trees_ , because it needed sunshine to bloom even more than some long forgotten gentleness in people's hearts.

The advertisement right across from ER-2004's window flickered, creating an irritating sensation, and he moved away from his little connection point towards the outside world, closed the blinds so he at least didn't see the rain anymore, though of course it still was to be heard, as it always was, and there still was a vague sensation of unnatural light filtering into his one room apartment, for it never became truly dark in there. He sat down at the mattress on the floor, ran one of his hands through his hair. It was curly, and there had been multiple occasions in which he had been told by humans that it would be beautiful. A compliment, what a strange concept, especially about something like this - as if he would have had any part in that, as if it wouldn't have been just something that the people creating him thought to be fitting. And their voices when they had said this.. ER-2004 was not sure if they even were aware of how they sounded, but he was so used to getting talked about instead of actually talked to that he noticed. Noticed how they complimented him like they would admire an elegant piece of architecture, swooned over him like he was a tool they could use.

A few days ago, ER-2004 had overheard a conversation between two young women in the city, and one of them had asked the other what she thought to be her best feature. To which she had earned a chuckle, and the answer of her legs, for they seemed to go on for days and drove others crazy, in her own words. And that had gotten ER-2004 into thinking. Not that anyone would ever ask him something personal, but when he was alone with himself and his thoughts, it was an interesting question about himself. What he thought to be his best feature. Well. He could have answered his intelligence that they had given him, enabling him to be effective at his work, but sometimes this felt like a burden rather than a blessing; he could have named his looks that seemed to be desirable in human standards, but no one seemed to care in learning more about him than what they could take in with their eyes; he could have listed his curls, for how much people seemed to like them, but he wouldn't, for they felt like something personal, and if there was one thing he didn't like, it was people touching them without his permission. Of course no one would see any need to _ask_ for his permission, but then, he wished they wouldn't do it at all. 

His best feature.. maybe his hands, ER-2004 mused while looking down at them, pale skin glooming in the darkness that wasn't quite black, sometimes being illuminated in pinks or greens when the advertisement decided to work well for a moment. Or maybe his ability to stay awake way longer and more than humans were able to, for if he wouldn't have had that, he wouldn't have been able to exist just a little for himself outside of his work routine. He wondered how the conversation between the girls might have gone on - had they also told their favourite things about each other? Trusting each other deeply enough, caring enough to name things that went deeper than mere looks? ER-2004 found himself wishing that they had. That they were aware of what a precious thing it was that they possessed there, their ability to just be _human_ , to feel and to hold hands and to laugh. ER-2004 didn't think that there ever had been a moment in the years since his creation in which he had _laughed_ , and he wondered if it was a simple movement, just on itself, or if there were other sensations going along with it. Like how when sobs shook through one's body, there might be a phantom pain around the stomach area, hinting at a hurt that wasn't there. Except for in one's emotions. And ER-2004 wasn't even sure if that was the right word. _Emotions._. Thoughts, those he had, they had created him with a brain capable of thinking, being rational, solving problems, but emotions, _feelings_? What use would be there in giving a replicant a heart for more than to simply transfer blood throughout their body? And yet, there was something that told him that what he felt were emotions, or at least as close to those as he could get.

ER-2004 laid down on his mattress, pulled the warm blanket, one of the very few nice things he had been able to afford by keeping his money together over a few months, around his body, and closed his eyes. 

The emotion he felt before falling into a dreamless sleep was loneliness.


	2. Finally breathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the nice feedback I got for the first chapter! And special thanks to Marjo for suffering with me through all the ideas I got for this AU!

In the next morning, ER-2004 woke up a few minutes before his alarm would start ringing, and he decided to just stay in bed, or rather on his mattress, until then. It was a rare luxury, to be able to exist without any purpose, to just _be_ , even if it was only for a few stolen moments in this grey hour of the early morning, a little before the day decided what it wanted to become. 

His warm blanket truly was a blessing, ER-2004 once again became aware of, when he felt the cold air of the room at his forehead, the biting sensation at the few fingers he had slipped out of his blanket cokoon. There was something wrong with the heating in his room, had been for some days already, and ER-2004 had informed the people responsible in the house about this, had tried to ask his neighbors if they might be in a similar situation, had tried to ask for _help_ , but so far, there had been no success. Most of the building's inhabitants were humans, and most of those weren't too fond of ER-2004, or those of his kind in general. The things they sometimes snarled at him in the corridors, those had stopped hurting some time ago, or at least that was what ER-2004 preferred to tell himself, and he shouldn't have been too surprised about them not caring if he might freeze to death. 

He promised himself to do some research about heating systems later, to see if maybe he could do something about this himself, or if that wouldn't work, he could order a mechanic. Which of course would be expensive, but he still had a little money hidden underneath his mattress, and if he'd just make it until his next paycheck and then cut his money for food a little shorter, he might be able to afford the mechanic. If one of those even would have the time, would agree to work for ER-2004. But as it probably would be a replicant as well, it didn't seem all to unlikely. And that was a good thought, so ER-2004 did his best to focus on it. On the perspective of coming home again some time soon and being able to quickly shrug out of his warm coat, his favourite possession next to his blanket, to put it over his chair and then not freeze without the item around himself. 

The alarm finally started ringing, an old mechanical thing that ER-2004 had repaired himself some time ago, and he was aware that the automatic security & control system that his room had come with would also have been able to wake him, with music even, or with the voices of animals long forgotten, but somehow, he was fond of the little old alarm clock. It was something so simple, compared to the technology that was to be found everywhere around the city, and yet, to ER-2004 it also was more elegant than all of those inventions who sold themselves in bright neon colours. 

After a moment, ER-2004 stopped the noise with a soft touch from his finger and stood up from his mattress, stretching long legs before going for a quick cold shower. Breakfast was unexciting, but it provided him with all that his body needed, and he knew that he shouldn't complain about how the grey mass he could see on top of his spoon looked, smelled, _tasted_. But then again, he sometimes had tasted a little of the food that got sold on the streets, tastes and colours in a variety wider than he ever could have imagined, and he also knew how there were _restaurants_ , for humans of course, but if it wasn't like that, he would have loved to try out one of those one day. 

There was a bright blue advertisement just down the street, telling about "the best pizza in town", and that just sounded so very interesting.. not that ER-2004 would possess any pizza knowledge to compare it with, but still. Maybe if he had solved the heating situation and had managed to get some new money together, he'd be able to afford street food again. Yes, that was a plan, and ER-2004 smiled with it into his grey breakfast. On his way to work, his mind still was occupied with thoughts about pizza - he had read about that once, during one of his visits to the public library, where he may receive a few weird glances sometimes, but wasn't forbidden to go, so he sometimes did, whenever his time allowed it. Mostly, he would sit there and collect knowledge, things that might be useful for the future, but then, there were days - or rather nights, it was not as if he had much free time during the days to go to the library - when he couldn't resist. Couldn't resist reading about earlier times, sunlit countries half the world away, delicious food and easier days. Sometimes, ER-2004 sat there at night, a book on his knees, and he started to wonder how pizza might have tasted, if sunlight truly tickled one's skin or if that was an invention of the poets, if the ocean really had smelled of freedom. 

 

ER-2004's workday passed uneventful, mostly spent with research for his next case, and when he got back home around 12 hours after he had left in the morning, he was too tired to even think of going to the library or to take a walk towards the water, he just wanted to lay down and pass out. But this might prove harder than he thought. Because for once, he didn't meet anyone in his corridor, which would have been a good thing hadn't it been so suspicious, and from a few meters away, he could already see that there was something wrong with his door. He was absolutely convinced that he had properly closed it in the morning, he always made sure to check that twice, and now, it was.. it looked as if someone had broken it open, ER-2004 thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach. And a look inside the room, after he had convinced himself that there was no point in waiting any longer, that nothing would get better from that, confirmed his worst suspisons. His mattress had been cut open, there were insults smeared onto the walls in bright red letters, and, worst of all, his blanket was gone. ER-2004 slid down to the floor, his back against the wall, and buried his face in his hands. He started to cry. And wasn't it a curious thing, that he even was able to produce tears, to feel his heart breaking while the cold coming in through the shattered window already sucked all the warmth out of his body. The only silver lining he could think of was that it was the kitchen chair who had ended up with broken legs and not ER-2004 himself. 

This night, he curled up in his coat on the remains of his mattress, and if he had cried himself to sleep, there had been no one there to witness it, and especially no one to care. He woke up from his alarm, and suddenly realized how lucky he had been that those who had broken into his place had somehow missed this little item. Had deemed it not important enough to pay enough attention to destroy it. ER-2004 slipped the alarm clock into his pocket, just to be sure, and walked out into the rainy day. 

 

When ER-2004 had been told that he'd have to track down another replicant this week, he hadn't thought much about it. This was his job after all, the job that he was good at, and the fact that they had informed him that the target had been constructed 6 years ago also didn't ring any bells for circumstances that might be out of the ordinary. No, ER-2004 had just assumed that the target was a model like himself, coming into the world already with the body of an adult, equipped with false memories of a childhood that had never been there but was assumed to make the every day routine easier for the replicants; already possesing all the tools and abilities needed for the job they were meant for from day 1. 

So ER-2004 was rather surprised when finally, a few hours later, he managed to track down the target, and realized that she actually _looked_ as if she was just 6 years old. This was a different series of replicants, allowing humans who could afford it to raise them as if they were children, and now, when ER-2004 looked into frightened brown eyes in that little face, he wouldn't have been able to say that she was a replicant, hadn't it been for his tracking devices telling him so. 

Without a conscious decision to do so, ER-2004 crouched down to his knees, and looked at her.

"You're part of the AN-series, aren't you?", ER-2004 asked her, all thoughts of arresting her, or worse, forgotten for the moment.

"No", she replied, her voice high but steady, "I'm not part of any series, my _name_ is Anita."


	3. What is this feeling

She, Anita as she had introduced herself, took the hint of a step back, and then suddenly, there was something glistening in her hand, and she swung a knife towards ER-2004. Hadn't he been trained in self defense, he might not have been able to raise his arm in time, to block her attack with his arm instead of the knife reaching his throat, and there might be a way bigger problem to deal with than the blood oozing out of his arm. 

Once she realized that her attack had failed, the target tried to flee, but ER-2004 caught her, with an arm around her middle, and suddenly, all the fight seemed to leave her little body. She started shaking, and when ER-2004 let her go again, as if out of an instinct he hadn't been aware of possesing so far, she hurled herself into a ball against the wall. And yet, when she spoke, she managed to give her voice a threatening undertone.

"My papà will come to kill you once he finds out about you p- putting me down", she explained, and hadn't ER-2004 been told often enough that he didn't have a soul, he'd have said that it ached for this child.

He sighed, and though ER-2004 hadn't forgotten about his mission, he found himself unable to fulfill it. As if there was something like magic from a tale long forgotten, a light sparkling at him from the dephts of tears glistening in wide brown eyes, freezing his body in place. Instead of continuing his mission like planned, ER-2004 opened his mouth again, and tried to put as little threat into it as possible. 

"Your papà?" 

"Yes!", Anita confirmed, blinking angrily against the tears, "You never will find him, no matter how long all of you try, but _he_ will find _you_! No matter what you do to me, my family will avenge me." 

"Your.. family?", ER-2004 whispered, and when she nodded, he felt as if he was faced with a complex mathematical problem he didn't possess the abilities to solve. 

The girl in front of him was a replicant, there was no doubt in that. And at the same time, she talked about her papà, about her _family_ with absolute conviction. Ever since he first had opened his eyes, first talked to another of his own kind, first seen a human, he had wondered about so many things, had asked himself what might be the point of his existence, and then he had learned, had met more and more individuals that had been programmed to serve a purpose, just as he had been, and _never_ , not in all of this time, had any replicant ever talked about having a family. It just seemed illogical, how could they have one? A family, that meant being related, related by blood, being born, being _human_. But most importantly, being loved. And that just seemed impossible. How could anyone, be it another replicant or even less likely a human being, ever _love_ something like him? 

And yet, the proof stood right in front of him. When he looked at the little girl, Anita rather than a soulless combination of letters and numbers, he didn't doubt that she was telling the truth. That she indeed was _loved_. And this realization shook ER-2004's world to its core. 

 

He took a breath that might have been shaky, and after a quick look around, no other being anywhere close, his eyes found Anita again. 

"I won't tried to hurt you", ER-2004 heard his own voice saying, shortly after followed by a gentle: "I promise."

And once again, ER-2004 got surprised by Anita. Because he was sure that every other individual he had encountered throughout his existence would have laughed at this, or at least expressed their disbelief - how could someone like him ever make a _promise?_ Wouldn't that need a heart, one of the metaphorical kind, and something like a conscience? But Anita just looked at him for a moment, considering, and then nodded.

"Okay, I believe you. Or I'll try to."

"Okay", ER-2004 answered, all other words having left his mind while something like a tiny smile formed on Anita's young face.

"So you'll let me go, back to my papà?"

That needed a moment of consideration. The easiest solution of course would have been to just say yes - let the little girl leave, report back that he hadn't been able to find her, and deal with the consequences of an unsuccessful mission, but nothing worse. Except that this didn't feel right. If there already were people out there looking for Anita, other replicants receiving orders just like ER-2004 did, the chance for her to make it out of the city safely was nearly non existent. ER-2004 was aware of that, and he realized that he _cared_ about it. Which only could lead to one logical conclusion. 

"I'll even help you to get back to him - I'll come with you", he said, and then quickly added an "If you want that." 

"Yes please", Anita whispered, and then she actually smiled, brightly, and with a strange sensation, ER-2004 felt the corners of his own mouth move upwards. 

 

He guided Anita towards his vehicle, telling her to hide towards his feet, and to stay quiet, no matter what happened. When ER-2004 started the engine, it was with shaking fingers, but he tried to tell himself that it would be alright. He would get in trouble for not reporting back in time, but he would be able to handle it; it wasn't as if he hadn't dealt with worse things before. And he would help Anita to get close to her home, but not _too_ close, as he could imagine that a meeting with a group of rebels living somewhere outside of the city wouldn't turn out too well for him. But as long as he was careful, it would be alright. And, most importantly, he would get the girl back towards her family. 

At the final control point to pass before one was able to leave the city, ER-2004 showed his license together with his most grim face and a few short words about a mission, top secret, to which the guard nodded, and opened the door. Only when he couldn't see the city as more than a distant impression of smoke and light in the rearview mirror anymore did ER-2004 allow himself to take a deep breath. And for Anita to get out of her hiding spot and at the seat by his side. She sometimes told him to adjust his course a little bit, which he followed - he had thought it wiser to not ask her for their final destination right away; it would be better for everyone involved if he didn't know too well where exactly the rebels were hiding. 

Outside of the window, dry mountains and sandy plains were passing, and ER-2004 glanced at them in fascination. He had never left the city before, and this was nothing like the endless jungle of stone, glass, neon lights and greed he had adjusted to living in. It was so.. empty. Nearly peaceful. And he decided that while it was scary, he did like it. 

 

Once the ever present clouds turned darker and the night made an appearance, ER-2004 landed his vehicle and asked Anita if she would like to take a break too, about which she was very happy. She ran around for a little wile, stretching her sore legs, and ER-2004 realized that no matter all of her intelligence, her determination, her strength, she still was a _child_. A child that he, he realized as she picked up a nearly perfectly round rock to show it to him, would do quite a lot to protect. 

They then sat down next to each other in the sand with their backs to a shimmery silver door, not many words needed, and after a moment, ER-2004 reached into the pocket of his coat, to produce a bag with what he had planned to be a lunch. He offered it to Anita with what he hoped was an acceptable smile, and then witnessed how she ripped open the bag and greedily ate a few bites. But then, she seemed to force herself to stop, and offered the food back to him, even though ER-2004 could see that she still was hungry.

"It's fine, just eat it all. I've had food not too long ago, I'm not hungry", ER-2004 said, the lie rolling as easy off his tongue as they usually did. 

Anita waited another second before she smiled and finished to eat what was left in record time, licking her lips once she was finished. ER-2004 was aware that the food he was used to wasn't good in any criteria except for providing his body with what it needed, especially not in taste, and he suspected that Anita, as she was living with humans, humans that cared about her, that _loved_ her, was used to way better. Which lead to the question of how long it might have been since the girl had last gotten anything to eat. And for a moment, ER-2004 was tempted to ask, to find out how she even had ended up there in the city, all alone in enemy territory, but then he decided against it. The fewer things he knew, the better it would be if things back in the city might not go too well for him. 

ER-2004 then unwrapped the piece of fabric he quickly had wrapped around the wound in his arm earlier and inspected it with a critical eye. The cut was rather deep, and on top of how much he felt it, a steady present at the edge of his concisousness, it still was bleeding. For a moment, ER-2004 wondered if he might have some GlueFix in the vehicle, but at the same time, he knew that he hadn't. It was an effective method, a special liquid to glue replicant skin back together, quick and clean, but it also wasn't cheap, and if one got their skin damaged during a mission, it was the standard procedure to report back to headquarters and get an amount of GlueFix there. Which of course wasn't possible now, so ER-2004 just bit his teeth together and wrapped a piece of his shirt cut loose tightly around the arm. He blinked against the tears in his eyes, against the exhaustion, and then felt a heavy gaze on himself. 

"I'm sorry about that", Anita said, her eyes focused on the blood already being visible through the makeshift bandage. 

ER-2004 couldn't remember anyone ever apologizing to him. 

"You were right to defend yourself, and I'll be fine", he just said, before helping her to climb back into her seat. 

Once Anita was sedured in her seatbelt, he started the engine again, silently flying through the night, and with fascination, he realized after a few minutes that the girl at his side had fallen asleep. Nearly as if she actually would trust him, or feel safe in his company. 

 

In the next morning, when the clouds shifted from black towards a light grey, Anita blinked her eyes open, and once again warmly smiled at ER-2004. He smiled back, for a moment not looking towards the window but at her, and suddenly, an alarm was shrinking everywhere around. At the display to his right, ER-2004 could see three red dots blinking, and when he blinked against the mountains outside of the windows, he also could see them in the distance. Three vehicles of unknown origin, surrounding him, and coming closer. Fastly. ER-2004 felt his breathing get faster, his heart hammering in his chest, and he looked towards Anita. 

"Are these your people?" 

"Yes. Or at least I think so", she said, looking in concentration out of the window. 

"How sure are you?" 

"Hmm, 90 percent maybe?" 

"Alright. Then let's hope that those 90 percent are enough to safe our lives. Listen to me Anita - once I press this button, I want you to say your name, and tell them who you are, alright?" 

She nodded, and before he could change his mind, Ermal pressed a little green button, hoping that whom he presumed to be rebels surrounding them would receive the frequency that was common to be used inside the city. 

"Hello! It's me, Anita, Fabrizio's daughter, I'm coming home, so please let us land? Over", the girl said in a steady voice, and in the moment of silence that followed, ER-2004 tried to not think about how little his one gun would be able to do against those surrounding them if they turned out to be anyone but Anita's people.

But then, after a static noise, a voice sounded from the speaker, and ER-2004 wouldn't have needed to see the smile on Anita's face to realize that this was good news; the relief he was able to hear in this unknown voice would have been enough. 

"Ani? It's Claudio speaking. I'm so incredibly relieved that you're back, and I can't imagine how glad your papà will be. We'll escort you back towards the camp, just follow us." 

Anita showed ER-2004 a thumbs up, and he did as he was told, following who had introduced himself as Claudio and the others towards a valley hidden between two dark mountains, and then landed there. Right in the moment he did that, Anita opened her door and jumped out of it, running towards a group of people gathering. ER-2004 grabbed the door handle, and then hesitated. The figures outside actually seemed to belong to Anita, but now that they had her back, which reason would they have to let him go? Especially as he now had been forced to see exactly where their secret camp was? But what was there to change about the situation, it was not as if he could just flee, and he still wanted to make absolutely sure that Anita safely got back to her papà. So ER-2004 opened the door and stepped out, into an air cleaner than he ever had breathed it. 

 

When ER-2004 stepped down on the ground, he suddenly heard a scream, but one rather in delight than in pain, and he was just in time to turn around and see Anita jumping into the open arms of a man in dark clothes, who then picked her up, hugging her tight to his body. 

"Papà, I'm so happy to be home again!", her excited voice got carried with the wind, and ER-2004 smiled. So that was taken care of. 

More words got exchanged, words he couldn't understand, and then, suddenly, the man, Anita's father, walked in his direction. And once he got closer, ER-2004 could see his jacket better, the stars-

"You're a general?", he asked, shortly after scolding himself - the few hours with Anita had made him too used to just speaking whatever was on his mind, not waiting until he was asked something. Especially not when it was in a conversation with a human, and on top of that, a high ranking military, whose people surrounded him. 

But to ER-2004's surprise, nothing happened for a moment. And when something finally did, it was an even bigger surprise. Because the man, the general, smiled at him. 

"Just Fabrizio please, just Fabrizio. I hear you've saved my little girl?" 

"I, well", ER-2004 started, confused by being offered a first name, and unsure about how to explain that at first quite the opposite of _saving_ Anita had been the plan. 

Before he could think of more to say, Anita beat ER-2004 in talking. 

"He did! And then he gave me food and explained how an engine worked, and he got me home safely!" 

"That he did indeed", the man said, his eyes still fixed on ER-2004, "Ani, why don't you go say hello to your brother? He's in the northern lookout post, and you can't imagine how happy he was when the message reached us that you're coming home." 

"Of course, I'll go to Libero right away!" 

"Wonderful", he smiled while the girl ran away, "I will have a talk with our guest therewhile." 

The man, Fabrizio as he had introduced himself, though it felt wrong, soso wrong to call a grown up human, a general on top of that, by their first name, just looked at ER-2004. Curiosity, but no judgment in his eyes. And then he indicated to follow him, which ER-2004 did, towards a rather big tent with bright electric lights and furniture that looked as if it was made out of actual wood inside. 

"Please, sit down", Fabrizio said, and ER-2004 did as he was told, while a million of thoughts were speeding through his mind.

 

And before ER-2004 could make sense of these thoughts, produce any sentence that might help him, Fabrizio's glance caught onto the wound in ER-2004's arm, his eyes widening when he noticed how heavy it was bleeding through the makeshift bandage.

"Can you take that off? Please?" 

ER-2004 did, because there seemed no harm in it, and no wisdom in denying such a simple thing when he was in the man's territory, completely under his mercy. The man who probably just wanted to judge exactly how damaged his opponent was. But just like his daughter had done quite a few times, he didn't say anything like ER-2004 had expected it. 

"This looks like it will need stitches", Fabrizio said, his eyes fixed on the cut; thereby missing the surprise flashing over ER-2004's face. 

So maybe he did have a chance here. Maybe the fact that he had helped Anita would be enough to let him go, even if he had been made to serve a government that Fabrizio was fighting against. ER-2004 allowed himself a hint of hope. 

"I'm sure it doesn't, if you just have some GlueFix I'll be okay." 

"No", came as an answer, and ER-2004 was surprised again. And immediately scolded himself for that - he knew how humans were; it had probably just taken Fabrizio a moment to finally realize that ER-2004 wasn't one of his own kind, and now that he knew what he was facing, he wouldn't even offer what ER-2004 would have needed to repair himself. But it would be fine, he coult do without it, had done so before, and it wasn't too pleasant, but manageable, especially with how his body was designed to repair itself faster than humans healed. 

"Okay, I will just.. go then", ER-2004 said, seeing what might be his last chance, and started to get up. And he tried to ignore the dizziness, how the room seemed to be slightly shaking suddenly; there certainly was no time for that.

"Nono, wait!", and Fabrizio was quick to rise from his seat himself.

"You won't let me leave?", more of a statement than a question, in a flat, emotionless voice. It was not as if this was unexpected, no matter the sparkle of hope that had flickered in his heart just a moment ago. 

"No, yes, I mean", Fabrizio ran his hands through his messy hair, searching for the right words, "of course you can leave, if that's what you want. But you don't _have_ to, especially not when you're hurt."

" _Hurt?_ ", ER-2004 asked, he couldn't help his confusion at the word choice.

"Yes", Fabrizio confirmed, his voice nearly soft now, and he walked closer to ER-2004.

ER-2004's pulse sped up, and he felt his hands shaking.

"Would it be alright if I touched you?"

At that, ER-2004 nodded, he was not sure how he could have refused in this situation, but he still couldn't help the tensing of his body.

Fabrizio's fingers had a skin way rougher than that of most people ER-2004 had met in the city, and his touch was gentler than anything he ever had experienced. The man produced a piece of fabric from somewhere inside the dephts of his pockets, wiped the blood away from ER-2004's arm, and then looked at the wound underneath. Wrinkles appearing in his forehead.

"Could you sit down here maybe?", Fabrizio asked, and guided him over to a chair next to a lamp, turning that on so the bleeding arm got illuminated brightly.

"Don't you really have got some GlueFix?", ER-2004 tried once again, and Fabrizio sighed, his focused gaze never leaving the wound.

"I do, but I've been told it's rather unpleasant?"

"You.. have been told?"

"Yeah. I got curious about this stuff so I asked some people like you, and they mentioned that while it's _effective_ , it's rather painful in itself during the healing process, so I'd advise rather against it? If you really want it it's fine of course, but I also want you to know that I think it might work better in the long term if you got that stitched up and then put some healing salve on it."

ER-2004 tried not to read too much into that, into the word choices; did his best to not think about how _hurt_ and _people_ and _painful_ usually were words exclusively reserved for beings with a soul, tried not to wonder why Fabrizio might talk to him nearly as if he was a human being; this would have been too much for his tired mind. So ER-2004 just thought about both options for a second, and yes, he had to admit that gluing your skin together wasn't too nice a thing.

"Okay, I think I'll try the stitching then, if you'd maybe got a needle?"

"You want to do this yourself?"

"Yes? Shouldn't I?"

Fabrizio sighed and looked into ER-2004's eyes.

"Listen to me, please. I want to help you. Honestly, unconditionally _help_ you here. Just like you've been helping Anita. That means that you can stay as long as you want to, that we'll try to help you as much as we can, with food and everything else, and that of course also includes that I'd stich your arm together if you would realize that maybe doing that yourself wouldn't be the wisest choice, seen how much your hands are shaking."

"Okay", ER-2004 whispered, receiving a smile in return, and shortly after, Fabrizio went towards a corner of the tent to get what he needed. 

 

Fabrizio stitched ER-2004's wound together with the calm fingers of someone who had taken care of injuries like this before, and while he worked, he never stopped apologizing each time ER-2004 flinched under the feeling of the needle piercing his skin. 

Once he was done, he wrapped a clean bandage around ER-2004's arm, and then let his hand linger there for a second. 

"How are you feeling?", and his rough voice did have a soft edge. 

_Confused_ would have been an honest answer, the most prominent out of all the emotions that ER-2004 felt, but he didn't say that. At least not exactly, it still was the same issue

"You know that I, that I'm a replicant, do you?" 

Fabrizio sighed, and ER-2004 was left to wonder if he had made everything worse here. But surely the man must have at least suspected? But then again, why should he have behaved like he did; why should he himself stitch him back together? Nothing seemed to make sense, and ER-2004 couldn't remember the last time he had felt so tired. 

"What I _know_ is that you're hurt, and tired, and that you've saved my daughter's life. And I know that you should sleep. And that you're safe here." 

Over the years, ER-2004 had become an expert in detecting lies in people's words, no matter how well they tried to hide those, but in Fabrizio's here, there was nothing to be heard but honesty. 

And when Fabrizio smiled an encouraging smile at him, ER-2004 felt himself smiling back...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The work title as well as the chapter names in this story are taken from the song "Almost Human" by Lauren Daigle
> 
>  
> 
> _I'm almost human_  
>  _Finally breathing_  
>  _What is this feeling_  
>  _Human_  
>  _Coming to my senses_  
>  _Losing my focus_  
>  _Taking my emotion_  
>  _Lost in the moment_  
>  _You make me feel_  
>  _Almost human_


	4. Human

The shy smile seemed to change the whole face of the replicant, as if it was a light shining on it, and Fabrizio hoped that he would find a reason to smile about more often. He knew nothing about this man’s life, knew that right now wasn’t the time for any questions, and at the same time, he already knew so much; in some cases, more than he’d like to know. Fabrizio of course had noticed the caution in his dark eyes, his heartbreaking surprise at every hint of kindness, the way in which he wouldn’t quite meet his eyes, as if he was scared of being punished for that. And a lot more, details like rough edged puzzle pieces that added together to the man whose smile flickered now, as if he wasn’t sure how to interpret Fabrizio’s silence; as if he feared that the thoughts he had been lost in were anything but kind. Internally, Fabrizio scolded himself, and then took a deep breath before talking again, his voice still so very gentle.

“Can I offer you something to eat?”

The replicant seemed to consider that before he nodded, and Fabrizio quickly went over towards a table that contained pretty much anything from a pocket knife over detailed maps of the city to some quickly scribbled down pieces of music. Next to a framed picture of his three children, arm in arm and looking as happy as they would deserve to be every day of their young lifes, he finally found what he had been looking for – a tin box, filled with cookies. It was the only food he had in his tent at the moment, and something told him that it wouldn’t have been the best idea to leave his guest alone here long enough to be able to go outside and cook some proper food, at least not right now. So these would have to do.

Fabrizio walked back to the replicant, who had been looking in fascination at his stitched together arm, as if it was a riddle he couldn’t quite understand, and sat down at a large wooden chest standing next to the chair the other man sat in. When the replicant looked up at him, he opened the jar of cookies, with another smile, and offered it to him.

For a second, there seemed to be a battle in those dark eyes, between caution and temptation, but then the hunger won; elegant long fingers picking one of the cookies before he ate it nearly quicker than Fabrizio could look. After the third cookie, the replicant suddenly stopped himself, and looked at Fabrizio again, this time straight in his eyes.

 

“Is this- Can I-?”, he tried, and then stopped, as if it was a question that needed to be asked but he had no idea about how to do so.

Fabrizio, as if on instinct, very gently touched one of those pale fingers lingering close to the cookie box with one of his own; a featherlight touch that he hoped would help to convince the other that it was okay, that he was allowed to ask questions here, and especially that he was allowed to eat as many of those cookies as he wanted. When Fabrizio told him that, the cookie part, the replicant nodded, once again the hint of a smile gracing his lips, but this time, their eyes didn’t meet – the replicant’s were fixed on Fabrizio’s finger, on the point where their skin touched, and he seemed to be mesmerized by that. It nearly was as if he hesitated to take his hand away to pick up another cookie, but once he put it into his mouth, he seemed something close to happy. And a little more confident. His eyes had caught on Fabrizio’s hand, a detail sparking his curiosity, and he allowed himself a question.

“Is that a sun?”

“Yes, it is”, Fabrizio confirmed, raising his hand a little so the other man could have a closer look at the tattoo at the back of his hand.

“It’s beautiful”, the replicant said while following the dark lines with his eyes, and just when Fabrizio was about to answer that, a yawn escaped the lips of the man sitting next to him.

“It’s late, and you’ve had a challenging day, I think that you should sleep. We can talk more tomorrow, if you would like that.”

The replicant nodded, and then got up from his chair, taking a few steps towards the tent’s entrance before his strength seemed to leave him, and hadn’t Fabrizio’s reflexes been so quick, he would have collapsed to the ground. Instead, Fabrizio caught him, held him, and after feeling his head to check his temperature, he asked a question. Praying that the answer wouldn’t be that the replicant was about to go back towards the city.

 

“Where did you want to go? You can stay here tonight.”

“Here?”

“Yes, in my tent, I mean you can sleep in my bed; I’m sure a nice mattress will help you to sleep better than in a sleeping bag, and it’s also better for your wou-“, and here, Fabrizio stopped the words spilling out of his mouth. Because it seemed as if the replicant had gotten a little bit paler, and he swallowed, while trying to stand up. To get out of Fabrizio’s touch, out of his arms that still were steadying him.

Fabrizio tried to turn off all of his emotions for a moment, to just focus on actions, and after helping the replicant to his feet, thereby touching him as little as possible, he guided him over to his bed, where he sat down stiffly. Next, Fabrizio grabbed a sleeping bag he kept under the bed as well as the thinnest of his blankets, and took those over, to the side of the tent that was the farthest away from the bed. 

“I’ll be just over here, and please don’t hesitate to call me if there’s something wrong”, Fabrizio said, feeling the confused gaze of the other man on him. And he wished he could say more, explain more, reassure more, because he could sense that the replicant still was afraid, and because he could guess that even if he would start to feel worse, he’d hesitate to call Fabrizio in the middle of the night. But words didn’t seem to come to him, and while he sat down at the sleeping bag, Fabrizio could feel his own tiredness kicking in. And while he still was searching for anything to say, the replicant beat him to it.

“Thank you”, he said, his voice sounding as if it was faced with a miracle, and Fabrizio could see how he laid down in the bed, covering himself with a warm fluffy blanket.

“You’re welcome. It’s no trouble, really, and we’ll sort everything out tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay”, he confirmed, and Fabrizio smiled, because the other’s voice sounded as if tomorrow wasn’t quite something to be feared.

“Good night.”

“Oh”, nothing more than a surprised exhale.

“Are you alright?”, and Fabrizio rolled to his side, to be able to look towards the bed.

“Yes. It’s just”, and he hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure if he should share this, if he should continue to talk. But then he did. “No one has ever wished me a good night before. Thank you. And good night to you too, Fabrizio.”

Fabrizio could see the replicant closing his eyes while pulling the blanket a little closer around himself, and while zipping the sleeping bag shut, he bit his lip, to not let his emotions get the better of him here. He himself fell asleep after quite a long time of listening to the other’s steady breathing with a whirlwind of thoughts in his mind, the most important one being that he wished the other man wouldn’t leave tomorrow. And somewhere beneath that, there lingered a fierce sense of protectiveness, and the hope that he’d get to see this gentle smile again… 

 

Fabrizio had been living the life of a rebel out in the middle of nowhere for long enough to get used to the silence at night; had forgotten the always present noises the city attacked one's brain with, and he liked it. He would have doubted that nowadays he even would be able to find calm in the middle of that terribly unmelodic concert of people, machines and advertisements, least alone _sleep_ there. Here, he heard a leaf moving in the wind, and this was a good thing, for it was a dangerous place to live. And it always was better to hear a little closer for noises that might not belong here, than to regret it later when being surrounded by way too many of them, or be faced with the perspective of an everlasting silence.

It wasn't something unusual for Fabrizio to wake up from a noise in the middle of the night, but usually, he quickly could identify it, as the wind whistling against the tent, the start of an engine a little down the hill, where they kept their vehicles, the laughter of one of his friends going towards their own tent a little later than usually. In these cases, he'd shake his head, maybe drink a sip of water and then go back to sleep, with a little smile on his face, because everything was alright. But not in this night.

The noise that he heard was a voice, but not one of those he had known for years, and also not one that was laughing, or talking in a whisper during a changing of the guards. The voice sounded rather desperate, and Fabrizio quickly sat up in the sleeping bag, his eyes adjusting to the darkness around him.

At the other end of the room, which wasn't too far away, as it was a tent, though, granted, a rather big one, he could make out the outline of the replicant who had come to them earlier, bringing him back his precious little Anita; the replicant who had stared at him in wonder at every kind word, and who surely would have denied the invitation to take Fabrizio's bed for the night more fiercely, hadn't his legs given out under him, and hadn’t he managed to convince him that everything he wished for the other man to do here was to sleep. Fabrizio rose from his sleeping bag, walking towards the other man, who had curled himself into a ball in his bed, clutching the blanket Fabrizio had given him earlier close to his body, and it seemed that he was talking in his sleep, for his eyes were tightly closed, but broken words still slipped past his pale lips.

Fabrizio heard a "Please", nearly soft enough to get swallowed by the silence; he could see the pain in this foreign face, and he couldn't bear it. He needed to do something, anything, needed to wake the replicant up from whatever horrible place his dreams had taken him to. And in this moment, Fabrizio realized that he had made a mistake. In all the trouble of the previous day, he had not thought of asking him for his name. Sure, it probably would just have been a combination of letters and a string of numbers, something that Fabrizio _hated_ , with all of his heart, but it was what he must be used to, and it would be better than nothing, especially now. He wanted to wake him up from a nightmare, and he hadn't even an idea about how to call him.

 

"Hello?", Fabrizio tried, his voice soft but steady, and there was no reaction.

He extended his hand, but then stopped it again. The hesitance in wide brown eyes when he had asked the replicant if it would be alright to touch him to be able to look after his wound still was present in Fabrizio's mind, as well as his own dark ideas about what the replicant had feared earlier, and he was scared of overstepping a boundary here; to risk the fragile trust they might be able to achieve one day before it even started. But then, a sob shook through that fragile body, pale fingers clutching the blanket tighter to his chest, and Fabrizio realized that he had to try. As gently as he could, Fabrizio placed his hand on the replicant's shoulder, and spoke again, this time a little louder.

"Please, wake up my friend, it's just a bad dream."

And waking up was what the replicant did - with a startle, his eyes shot open, and he blinked around in haunted confusion before trying to sit up, to shuffle away from Fabrizio. While doing so, he somehow managed to get tangled in the blanket he still pressed close to his body, to lose his balance and fall backwards against the bedframe. Tears shot into his eyes when his freshly stitched arm connected with the metal frame, and he stilled, looking into Fabrizio's vague direction but not at _him._

"Please don't take it away", the replicant whispered, and Fabrizio was shocked by just how _young_ his voice sounded. Like a frightened teenager so very far from their safe home.

And Fabrizio didn't know what he was talking about, but he was sure that he wouldn't take anything away from this man, not now and not ever.

"I won't take it away, I promise", he tried, his voice the same tone he used when a haunted expression appeared in Libero's eyes and he curled up at his side without a word of explanation, because none was needed.

"Please don't take the blanket away", he whispered, and Fabrizio's heart broke.

How anyone could doubt that they were fighting for the right thing, it was a mystery to him - how could anyone think a world to be just where a man who was kind enough to save the life of a little girl he never had met, who was selfless enough to risk his own life to get her into what he must assume to be the territory of his enemies, where a man with a smile that gentle who seemed as if he hadn't had much opportunity to try it out before, was scared of being robbed of his blanket in his sleep? How could they fight for a system that built on this as a standard, just because some people thought themselves to be oh so superior? 

Fabrizio knew what they taught, about how the important difference, the one that made all of it _justified_ was that humans would have a soul while replicants did not. And in his opinion, they couldn't be more wrong. The young man staring at him with tears in his eyes now, he did have a soul, a gentle soul suffering from years of abuse, but still not hardened, not broken, still kind enough to show the world what goodness meant; and those who had done this to him, had caused him to assume the only reason to wake up at night was to be robbed of what provided him with a little comfort, they were the soulless monsters. And Fabrizio would make sure to tell him this one day.

 

“You can keep the blanket. I _promise_ that you can.”

The look in the replicant’s eyes became a little clearer, and Fabrizio quickly switched on the lamp on the bedside table. Both of them blinked against the sudden brightness, and when Fabrizio saw the other in the light, he got his suspicion confirmed, that the replicant’s gaze was clearer now. 

“Fabrizio?”, he asked, hesitating, speaking this one word as if it was a wish.

“Yes. It’s me, Fabrizio, you’re in my tent, _you’re safe_ , I’ll protect you. No one is going to take away your blanket, and if anyone tries, I will fight them. Do you want to drink some water?”

The replicant nodded, and after Fabrizio had gotten him a bottle and he had taken some little sips, Fabrizio sat down at the floor next to the bed.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“It isn’t quite a name”, the replicant admitted, “but I’m ER-2004.”

Fabrizio smiled at him, and extended his hand. After looking at it for a second, the replicant, ER-2004, took it. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ER-2004”, Fabrizio said, while secretly hoping that they’d soon find something else to call the replicant. Something more fitting of his determined eyes, his gentle voice, the hints of hope that sparkled from somewhere deep inside his smiles. Something that sounded more like a person, and less like a soulless machine. Because he was anything but.

 

ER-2004 seemed to have calmed down again, and held the blanket a little less tight while he looked at Fabrizio.

“You’re very kind”, he whispered into the silence around them, and Fabrizio swallowed.

“And you are very brave”, was Fabrizio’s answer, and he witnessed another of those beautiful smiles on ER-2004’s face.

After that, Fabrizio staid sitting on the floor next to the bed, watching how ER-2004 fell back asleep. He did so still with a smile, and Fabrizio maybe would have fallen asleep with one of his own, hadn’t it been right in that moment that Claudio stepped into the tent, the look on his face already telling Fabrizio that something was not quite as it should be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll like this chapter; if you do so please let me know, I could use some nice words rn ☺️

**Author's Note:**

> Nice comments always very welcome!! ❤️


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